There are so many things that I just keep to myself because I feel insane saying them...it sucks to have all that bottled up inside. So I thought I'd use this as a safe place for me to vent.
As of now I'm a SAHM with my almost 13 month old daughter. I have enjoyed being with her all day but am getting to the point to where I don't enjoy it as much anymore...does that make me a bad mom?? I don't think so but a lot of people do. Some women are happy being home, taking care of their children, cleaning, taking care of their husband-I just am not one of those people. A lot of this probably has to do with how TIGHT our budget has gotten since having to get a different vehicle for my husband AND the lovely new event of our AC/Heating unit dying. The bottom line is, I have stretched our dollars as far as they can be stretched and it has become a luxury to drive to the park or to drive anywhere-and to me, I don't like this! I'm not whining or feeling sorry for myself-the simple fact is we need to increase our income.
I am in search of a full time job that will pay enough for me to cover child care and then have money left to actually be able to save for emergencies, treat ourselves to a drive to the park...you know-do normal things without worrying and praying nothing goes wrong. I don't think its too much to ask for and I don't think it's wrong.
For those who feel like I'm selling my daughter's soul to the devil in a sense by putting her in child care-you're entitled to your opinion but it's not MY opinion. She learns a lot from me but I'm only one person! She can learn a so much from having involvement with other kids and other adults. She needs to know that mom and dad may leave but we ALWAYS will come back. She needs to learn that trust! I want her to socialize with other kids, I want her to experience opportunities that I cannot provide for her inside this house. She's an amazing child and I will always protect her and take care of her but she needs the balance of others as well.
Basically, I have a lot of guilt for wanting to go back to work but I know that it's the right thing to do. I've prayed about this and I've put it into God's hands. I trust him! He knows what is right and he knows the path I will follow next. If is to continue being a SAHM, I pray that opportunities to make money comes through my Usborne business-if it's to go back into the workforce,I pray for child care that will allow for my first payment to be processed when I actually get my first paycheck. (yes it's that bad)
Point blank: our family is not working well under the stress of our finances and we are going to take control of it and get to a better place for our future!
As of now I'm a SAHM with my almost 13 month old daughter. I have enjoyed being with her all day but am getting to the point to where I don't enjoy it as much anymore...does that make me a bad mom?? I don't think so but a lot of people do. Some women are happy being home, taking care of their children, cleaning, taking care of their husband-I just am not one of those people. A lot of this probably has to do with how TIGHT our budget has gotten since having to get a different vehicle for my husband AND the lovely new event of our AC/Heating unit dying. The bottom line is, I have stretched our dollars as far as they can be stretched and it has become a luxury to drive to the park or to drive anywhere-and to me, I don't like this! I'm not whining or feeling sorry for myself-the simple fact is we need to increase our income.
I am in search of a full time job that will pay enough for me to cover child care and then have money left to actually be able to save for emergencies, treat ourselves to a drive to the park...you know-do normal things without worrying and praying nothing goes wrong. I don't think its too much to ask for and I don't think it's wrong.
For those who feel like I'm selling my daughter's soul to the devil in a sense by putting her in child care-you're entitled to your opinion but it's not MY opinion. She learns a lot from me but I'm only one person! She can learn a so much from having involvement with other kids and other adults. She needs to know that mom and dad may leave but we ALWAYS will come back. She needs to learn that trust! I want her to socialize with other kids, I want her to experience opportunities that I cannot provide for her inside this house. She's an amazing child and I will always protect her and take care of her but she needs the balance of others as well.
Basically, I have a lot of guilt for wanting to go back to work but I know that it's the right thing to do. I've prayed about this and I've put it into God's hands. I trust him! He knows what is right and he knows the path I will follow next. If is to continue being a SAHM, I pray that opportunities to make money comes through my Usborne business-if it's to go back into the workforce,I pray for child care that will allow for my first payment to be processed when I actually get my first paycheck. (yes it's that bad)
Point blank: our family is not working well under the stress of our finances and we are going to take control of it and get to a better place for our future!
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