BeYOUtiful with AVON

So, a lot of stuff has happened since I last blogged :) Brandon and I are getting married Oct. 24, 2009...just 18 short days away!! We found out on September 21, 2009that we are expecting our first child!! We are so so excited! The baby will arrive in May sometime...we've gotten three due dates so far LOL! We go for our first prenatal visit on October 19 and are very excited to hear the heartbeat :) I had never heard Brandon's voice so high pitched ever! He was so so excited!!! We had a scare that landed me in the ER but all seems to be doing great!! We can't wait to see it's tiny face and to hold it's tiny hands. I can't wait to feel it move for the first time!! We've chosen a boy name and a girl name: Spencer Wyatt and Taylor Camille. Every day is a new adventure and a new taste test for me LOL! It's fun and I can't wait to be in NC for Brandon to share it with me! He has been so supportive and concerned even though he's 700 miles ...

I am so so stressed out! I can't be peaceful. I'm restless, angry, sad, anxious...I just want my mind to stop racing amd to enjoy the now. I want to wake up and not worry about randomly bursting into tears. I need strength, I feel so week. I feel like my thoughts are in a battle. I hate this!!! :'-(

Brandon's journey back home has begun! I'm so excited to see him! I have 20 days till we head down to NC...wow! Also-we're getting married on October 10!! I'm so so excited! I'm ready to be his wife and to hold him in my arms. Dear God, You are magnificent and such an awesome God! Thank you for the life you breathed into us and for the joy you bring to our hearts! Please watch over Brandon and the whole RBT-South Team as they make their way back to the states. They are some of the best guys and they gave their all in their job overseas! Also, watchover me and his family as we head down to welcome him home. Be with us as we prepare for our new life together and help us to always keep you at the center of it all. The Glory is Yours!! In Your Name I Pray, Amen! I love you Brandon Aaron Mathis!!!

I'm sitting here at the pool with my soon to be brother in law and thinking of Brandon. I'm so glad this deployment is nearing it's end. I can't wait for him to be home. Work is going good. I started teaching classes today and I really enjoy it. I am being sure to mention that I'm a teacher because I noticed a lot of school emails when I did my email reminders. I might as well get my name out there!!! My family is in Michigan and they seem to be having a blast! They are camping and when I called today Jackson said he loved sleeping in a tent. He also told me that he and ethan got to potty in the woods. ;) they are so cute!!! I went to visit my dad for fathers day and that was really nice! They all got to hear about me and Brandon getting married. They are excited!! My second cousins have grown up and the oldest are 16 and 17!! I feel so old!! (no comments Brandon!) Well i'm gonna go relax and try to tan...unlike my fiancé, I have to actually try to tan!! ...

Hey there my lovebug! I wish you were here to go bowling with me! We need to see if we can find a bowling alley in st Louis. ;) you have made me the happiest girl in the world and I know that it will only get better. I'm so ready to be with you and to spend my days and nights able to touch you and hold you. I miss you like crazy and can't wait to I've you home. Hey world: I have the greatest boyfriend in the world!! Soon I'll have the greatest husband in the world!!! Sorry ladies! -love

It's getting closer and closer to Brandon's homecoming!! I miss him so much and can't wait to have him home. I'm hoping he can be here for my birthday! That would be very cool!!! He is doing well and I'm happy about that. It's been so great to talk to him every day and to feel like he's not so far away...even though he's on the other side of the world. He's a good man and I'm lucky to have him. I'm ready to watch him walk off that bus in NC!!

So I have some things coming up that I'm kinda worried about. I have a doctor's appt. that I'm thinking a lot about. I hope all turns out well but I have tyt pit in my stomach feeling like something else is up. Also a lot is weighing on my mind with brandon and his deployment. I'm worried about him. :(

In the past weeks I've realized a few things. I feel like I've grown as a person and have become a stronger person. I think a lot of my life I've settled and just accepted things. I never tried to rock the boat and just stay clear of the radars. LOL. I think I'm slowly learning things I've always been told. I deserve an equal relationship. I deserve the princess treatment (even though I didn't want it in high school) I'm learning that I'm ok just being me and doing things for myself. I have learned a lot from the relationship with brandon. I've learned some good things and bad. No ones perfect and things aren't always what they seem. On another note, I've met a pretty cool guy! Of course I'm not ready for a relationship just yet but it's been an absolute blast getting to know him. We have a lot in common! It's nice to be happy and be myself with someone. Even if we are just "slappin' the bass man". ;)

Sometimes life throws curveballs...you never know what they are for until you receive them. I think God has a sense of humor and he enjoys putting something into play and seeing how you handle it. It's fun though! It's good to experience life and learn new things about yourself...it's fun to be a part of that catalyst. Well...I have 6 weeks of school left and then it's back to the library for me! Yay!!! I'm really looking forward to this summer...I'm gonna work like crazy to get through my masters and finish as much of it as I can! This should be interesting. LOL Later!

It's April already yay!! There are only 5 months left of his deployment. That's crazy to me! I'm hearing from him less and less now but I guess that's to be expected. Since the breakup things have been awkward to say the least. He's full of apologies and good words. I just wish that it affected me the way it use to. I'm kinda numb to it all. I love him...it's just hard dealing with that cutoff.

Hello! I"m about to go to sleep for another 5 hours or so before going to work and thought I'd write. There's only about 6 months left of Brandon's deployment but our relationship is getting harder and harder. It's not that our feelings have changed, it's just that everything said seems to be chipped away and actions are constrewed. It is SO hard to maintain a relationship without seeing each other face to face and being able to physically be near each other. Your brain starts to take over and everything turns up a question. I absolutely hate it! We both know that we are here for each other 100% but still quesiton EVERYTHING! To a lot of people it may seem like trust isn't there and that there are control issues...but it honestly is just the name of the game when it comes to deployment. It sucks and it's not fun for the most part but when I think of him being home and being able to put all the questions aside-it's worth it 10 times over! I...

Hey there! I haven't written in a while so I thought I'd post something real quick. Since last time, I've started grad classes online for my Special Education Certification! I'm really excited about that!! Brandon's deployment is halfway over-woohoo!! I can't wait to have him home in September. Right now he's trying to decide whether or not to reinlist. There are pros and cons to both sides and we are trying to work towards what's best for us. Either choice will mean change, we just have to figure out the best route. I've been really really tired lately for some reason. IDK if it's school, work, or both that has tired me out. Anyway-I'll catch you later!

I was on facebook today and noticed a pic that my fiance's brother had linked...I took a look at the album and came across a pic of their brother. It was Jamie...the brother I'll never get to meet :( And I sit here crying I still can't believe how much him and Brandon look alike! I got chills looking at that pic!!! Wow...

Hello! I'm starting to get more and more stress for some reason. I'm not overwhelmed...I just feel like I have so much to do and no time to do it. I'm hoping school will help those feelings go away. Maybe it will keep my mind off of everything else in my life! I got a new student and he is a sweetheart! I've found myself having a short temper lately with them. My easy going attitude has decreased. It seems like behavior at the beginning of the year always seem to come back towards the end of the year. Maybe I just need a day off! LOL!!!

I was out a whole week of school last week and today was another snow day. It's so hard to get the kiddos back into routine after all that free time! They want 1 of 2 things-1. More free time or 2. Strict routine. The worst part is the whole class is never for just one of those... I'm tired but I don't want to go to bed, I know I should though! I read some more of Twilight but still didn't finish it-sorry Dawn! Friday is the 100th day of school so that will be a blast! Next week we have a field trip to see a play and I have Parent/Teacher Conferences on Monday...holy cow, busy week! In other news, my brother went home today. They are making him get an insulin pump put in. They have said this before but he refused it...honestly, I don't look for him to go along with it this time either. I wish he would!! It's hard to see someone so young not care about himself. Giving up has never really been in my vocabulary...I've always kept going and kept going...

So it has officially hit and we have snow, ice, and currently freezing rain. The power is out here and I'm hoping it comes back on quick! Tomorrow will be my third snow day. I should be happy about that but I'm not really. The boys are at school so regardless, I have to get to them tomorrow. I talked with Brandon for a bit on Facebook today. He's on a mission and seems to be doing well. He misses me and wants to be home. I don't blame him ;) He's so amazing!! I'm starting grad classes in march. I am happy about that but hate adding another bill. In other news, I ordered my wedding dress and I'm looking for final wedding locations. I'd really love just going to the courthouse but I know Brandon wants more. I'm sure I'll be glad we had a wedding when it's all over. I jut worry about paying for it!

I'm going to sleep tonight very lonely! I miss him like crazy! I can still smell him, I can still feel his hand in mine, I can still feel his arm around me...but reality is he's gone. He's on a plane headed to Ireland. Then to Kuwait, then to Iraq. I'm glad to know that soon we will have each other every day and every night. I'm so blessed!!

Brandon leaves tomorrow to fly back to Iraq. It's so bittersweet! I know that it's closer and closer to him being home permanantly but the nine month wait will stink! On January 11, 2009 brandon proposed to me! I am so very happy! It was great! I can't wait for us to start our life together. He's so special to me and I thank God that we found each other.

So I'm on my way back home from North Carolina. The visit was great and it was nice to see Jay and Jess. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to that AT ALL! I guess I'm a little excited to see my kiddos but I'm sure that excitement will pass once I see how wild they are! It's been nice spending time with Brandon and giving him lots of kisses! I'm gonna miss him when be goes back to iraq. Well I'm gonna go for now.