Holidays-Bring on the STRESS!

Well the holiday season is in full swing and so is my stress. Brandon flies out from Iraq in 9 days and we have had a horrible past couple of weeks. I can see the "change" people talk about that soldiers go through. It's sad to me...I'm pushing through it and hoping that the environment doesn't consume the person I fell in love with. I'm hoping that his two weeks home will help revive our relationship. I'm tired of fighting and tired of being a human punching bag for all his emotions. I know he doesn't want me to feel that way, he just has no one else to vent to and I get to wear that hat...yay... He wants us to go through premarital counseling while he's home...mind you he just brought this up today! There's nothing available and there's nothing I can do about that. We had a big arguement today and I had a side of me come out that I never wanted him to see. But, at some point I have to put my foot down! I'm too good of a person not to stand up for myself. Jeepers...this sucks! I'm not mad or sad or anything I'm just here...taking it one day at a time, not knowing what's waiting when he wakes up. I pray that something happens for the best...I pray that we don't dwindle away and lose focus of why we are a couple. Deployment sucks...but I think I'm strong enough to stand by him.